Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Vodka?
Forever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
