didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
