some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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