I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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