i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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