my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
