Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
