Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
