if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
