If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
