Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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