Yo dont text me then not text me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
