Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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