p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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