He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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