who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
