Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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