apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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