So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
