this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
