if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
