can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
