you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
