Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize