we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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