Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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