Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
