If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
