what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
