i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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