I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just google imaged poop.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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