i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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