Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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