His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize