Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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