Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
high people should be assigned attendants
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
