This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
