oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
