I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
