I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
