So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
