STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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