My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
