Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
