I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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