I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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