guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
