My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
