i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
