have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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