I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
