Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
