they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
