I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
