I wish i was in the wii world.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
