Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
