i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
