you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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