She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
