did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize