Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Vodka?
Forever.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
