That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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